Our cruise ends tomorrow in Cape Town

Last Thursday all I wrote in the blog was--IT IS SNOWING!!  It was a ten minute flurry.  This Thursday is Thanksgiving and a wet snowy mix has left the trees and ground white while it mostly melted on the roads and driveways.  It is the pretty part of winter and I always say, if it is going to be cold at least there should be snow.

Today we are thankful for our friends and family who have poured out an enormous amount of support in the last five and a half weeks.  It seems like a lifetime ago that this journey began but it is really just a blink of the eye.  I am running out of words and ways to say thank you, just know how important you have all been and how grateful we are that you are part of our lives and have touched our hearts.

A friend asked if today was a good day--yes it was.  Sue and I got up early to get the turkey in the oven for an early meal.  A morning spent getting ready, resting, peeling potatoes, sweet potatoes and apples, and finishing up the cooking.  Guests Lin, Gabe and Hannah arrived at noon and we put Gabe and Hannah to work decorating the Christmas tree.  All the finishing touches on the meal and we sat down to eat around one.  I took a little bit of everything and slowly made my way through a full plate.  Sue thinks it is the most she has seen me eat in 6 months.  So good food, good friends and family and good conversation.  Between dinner and dessert came a few rounds of Catch Phrase which added more laughter to the mix. Pie and ice cream and the end of a very enjoyable Thanksgiving dinner.  Today could not have been better.

Having no chemo last week lulled me into thinking I could leave cancer behind for a few days.  No such luck.  Intermittent nausea kept me focused on trying to eat and wondering why this is happening so long after chemo.  No answers yet, but hopefully tomorrow will mimic today.  The other major chemo event was the coming of day 19.  That is the day Leslie told me I would lose my hair.  I woke up and took a shower and then let Sue know the time had come.  Clippers in hand she gave me a 1/8 inch buzz cut.  We both shed a few tears and when I looked in the mirror all I could say was, "uh-oh". I still see my reflection in the computer and/or mirror and am surprised I have no hair.  I am not yet  used to the look as part of my identity.  It is cute though and I am amassing a collection of wonderful hats to keep me warm as winter settles in.

We had a good week, Gopher Women's basketball, they won again, The Wizard of Oz play at the
Children's Theater Company--which was wonderful!!  Lunch with Kim Koeppen with stories of Hamline, family and even some cancer talk.  I got to walk outside several days which is more motivating than the treadmill. We saw the Hunger Games movie, ok but not great, lots of grocery shopping, baked some cookies--a recipe from the chef on our tug boat adventure this summer. Driving by Day by Day Cafe at lunch time led to an impromptu lunch out--hooray for grilled cheese!

I have a plug for Delta airlines--we cancelled next years trips and with that called to cancel our air portion of the trips.  Non-refundable, they offered to wave the change fee and give us a year to rebook.  That seemed unlikely so with a note from Nancy's doctor we sent off a letter, vowing to use Delta when we are cleared to travel.  Got word yesterday that all the flights would be refunded--including 2 international business class trips.  They did not have to do it, but we are grateful that they did.  We always hear about the bad things that happen with airlines, so thought we would share a good story.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

We were supposed to be on a long cruise: 2 sea days, Abidjan, Ghana, Togo

Saturday-Wednesday Newport MN....

So I have had high platelets for about 6 years for no known reason. Finally found a way to bring the numbers crashing down. Two doses of chemo. So no chemo today since they dipped below the safe to go ahead number. Saw my doc and he was reassuring that this is par for the course and does not inhibit the effectiveness of the overall chemo regimen. I am off for two weeks, this one unplanned and next week planned. Back to appointments Dec 1. My brother and I meet with the genetics counselor and labs, then chemo on Wed. He is staying the week.

Had my first crash and burn day yesterday.  Had it before I learned my platelets were down so after that I called my friend Leslie--a chemo nurse in Long Island.  She helped me understand that this happens.  The mood carried over a little today but the doc helped with that.  I was just plain tired yesterday, and the weather which matched my mood did not help.  I was surprised to feel that way so far removed from chemo day and after a good day Monday where Sue and I got lots accomplished.  So it is good to know that there will be days like that and we can get through them.  Note from Sue:  she followed Nancy right down the dinker do's.  It was full blown pity party.

So in other news--The gopher women's basketball game was fun.  It was early which was good for me, Friday's is at 7 so I will have to rest up before we go.  We went to a Christmas market in River Falls on Saturday and stopped by Kim and Lin's house to return the chicken soup pot.  I did not ask for a refill yet since we have plenty left over.  We also stopped at the condo we bought in Cottage Grove and are renting to a friend.  The renovations Darin and Mark did are great and Gerrie's furniture fits well so all is good.  

Monday we got into the closet under the stairs in the lower level.  Lots of framed posters and empty frames to go to the thrift shop.  Found a picture of Nancy's sixth grade class in NJ and posted that on a class email.  Caused lots of interest and now someone posted it on Facebook.  Someone said it was a hot miserable afternoon which may be why so many of us look so grumpy.  Sue couldn't find me in the picture--not my finest hour.  Fun to hear people's recollections of events/classmates as stories emerge.  

Got an email from Jill in Phoenix--she decided to join team Nancy and got her hair buzzed--almost a Hawkeye mohawk.   For the moment it is shorter than mine!  Mine is getting long so if it does not fall out I may have to get it cut again so I can keep it spiked.  We are headed back downstairs this afternoon to see what else we can purge--see the fruits of our labor.  Yesterday was the day to try to deal with Sue's computer glitches and overfull storage....not much satisfaction as it is a slow process and we did not get much to show for it.  Regular life can be kind of uneventful--not a bad thing.

Thank you, thank you everyone for cards, pictures, good wishes and gifts--our new "strong" and "awesome" socks and a fleece buff will be welcome uniform additions to keep us warm and on the right path.  Thanks Liz and Judy & Bryan.

A little behind.....

Our friends on the cruise have been at sea, to Cape Verde, sea, Senegal, and Gambia...Sunday-Friday

I guess it is a good thing that life seems a little more settled this week.  The 3 week whirlwind of diagnosis, tests, confirmation, appointments, questions, shock, treatment plans and first chemo has given way to a week of visits with friends, movies, chores, trying to eat enough fruits and veggies and drink lots of water, continued facility with self administered shots and a second round of chemo.

Toni Holweger from Madison came by Sunday am with scones from Keys bakery/restaurant.  Jan and her sister came back after the birthday party and we all had fun visiting and chatting about this and that.  Later in the afternoon Jan, Jeannie, Sue and I went to a lake in Woodbury to take a walk, the weather was absolutely perfect.  Jeannie and I fast tracked it and I managed to keep up.  My daily walking is paying off.  They were on their way back to KC Monday morning and Sue and I can not remember what else we did that day except that a package arrived.  Big White Unnamed Bear showed up on the doorstep.  Soft and cuddly and open to being thrown across the room as needed or squeezed tightly.  You can talk to it, swear at it, sing (but I won't) or carry it around as a conversation piece.  It was my job to name him.  I tried several names but he is now Leo Raoul Big Bear.  He goes by Raoul.  Leo was my great uncle and I never knew anyone who could keep a twinkle in his eye and a positive attitude more than him.  Raoul was a big bird along the Amazon who followed us all the way down the path to visit the tribal shaman.  He stayed during the blessing ceremony and walked us back to camp.  Figured he would be a good companion on this journey.

Oh yeah, our memory is returning, Sue's cousin Kim made us a huge pot of chicken noodle soup so we drove to River Falls to pick that up.  Had a nice bowl with Kim and a good visit.  Headed home watching out for deer on the road but only saw one when we got to our hill.  Found a Harry and David package of apples and cheese. Thanks Lisa and Diane.  Yum.  Thanks Gina for the coloring book and pencils.  Love it and carry it with me to chemo.  Now I have one at home from Barbara and one more portable for chemo.  Thanks everyone for continued cards, emails, pictures and prayers.  I feel them all.

Tuesday Comcast showed up unannounced to put a filter on our cable.  We had asked for a new line...He scheduled a new line to be put in Thursday and we were off to meet Mary Margaret and Phyllis for lunch at Panera.  Had a good visit with them.  Phyllis continues rehab and is getting around better then ever.  After lunch we hit Costco and then the movies to see Spectre--good but not the best of 007.  It was dark when we came out of the theater--such is the reality of MN winter moving in.

Wednesday chemo was at 11:40 so I had time to walk before had.  We off with our packed lunch, books, iPads, phones and assorted things.  I feel like I am moving in.  We were in the outer room this time which gave us activity to watch but left much of our brought activities left undone. My white blood count low so the dose of chemo was reduced.  I had been afraid they would cancel so was happy that the does decrease could keep the process moving along.  There was a lot less stress this time.  I don't know if you can tell in the picture or not--this is my short hair chemo picture, next one....I called my chemo nurse friend in NY Wednesday night.  Told her I was feeling good, she said that is the steroids they give you.  I accept.  Sue says, "Can I have some!  Just the steroids."

Didn't sleep well--steroids, but got some reading done and caught up on Facebook.  I know, you shouldn't turn on iPhones late at night but that's the way it goes.

Thursday was a big day, high on steroids as it was.  Sue was high on Nancy's high.  I was tired but kept going.  We started with Comcast, no orders for a new line, here we go again.  The guy was great and spent almost 4 hours here--it took all of us to come with a good plan but in the end we have a new line and the internet is working.  Somewhere in the middle of that the siding guy came to do some repairs after we moved a deck.  He spent the day, through the sun and then the cold winds of the late afternoon.  Before he left, 2nd Wind Exercise showed up to deliver our new recumbent bike which has a home in the family room.  In the middle of all that we changed out some tv equipment, went through old papers to shred, shredded, rested, and supervised all the goings on.  Pooped out in the evening.  Sue says I am learning to be management instead of labor, my supervising skills are improving--though I think I did a lot of labor yesterday.

Friday--so much for facility with shots, had a hard time drawing the dose out of the vial and then OUCH, that hurt.  Not sure why each day can be so different.  Nothing I can't handle but ouch.

Sunny cold beautiful day, more chores and our first Gopher Women's basketball game this evening at 5:30  Glad it is an early game, can't do the men's game afterwards, too much.  Looking forward to the weekend.

Funchal, Santa Cruz de la Palma, Sant Cruz de Tenerife

Thursday, Friday, Saturday....

Thursday:  I told someone today that I am in the honeymoon phase, so far no side effects from the chemo but I suspect they can still hit at any time and I have been warned that as the chemo builds, so too might the side effects.  One of my current mantras--I am healthier today than I was yesterday.  So far my body is not giving me any clues to the contrary so I am sticking to it.

Had a fun encounter with a 68 year old gentleman at the lab the other day.  He saw my Lynx hat and asked if I like the Lynx.  We talked of the Lynx, Lindsey, the gophers and Rachel Banham, his football career starting in high school with Denny Green.  Then his previous and current connections to the Vikes and Gopher football.  He goes to all the gopher women's bball games and sits behind the bench--I told him I would look for him there.

Big first day giving myself a shot!  When I started testing my blood it took 40 minutes to do the first finger prick with much coaching and support from Mary and Colleen.  Set up, poke and injection only took 15 minutes this time.  What an improvement.  I should be able to get it down to five, we had hiccups today but nothing we could not handle.  Fortunately it did not burn as much as yesterday so the future looks bright.

Just had a short November thunderstorm.  Fun and totally unexpected and very appreciative that is was not snow. Its a quiet chore day, phone calls, filing, etc so the gray weather helps us stay put in the office.  Sue says this new routine is like a work week for it.  Tuesday is blood tests, Wednesday is work/chemo day, Thursday and Friday will be recovery days and then we get a long 3 day weekend-Saturday, Sunday and Monday for fun.

Nita and Rick left Madeira heading to the Canary Islands and coast of Africa.  We love the pictures that they are sending us.  We asked them to have a burger at the grill and dinner on the back deck for us--they also like those parts of the boat and had already been there, done that.  Nita said that a cat was following them home from Madeira for Nancy, we told them to feed it, turns out it is wooden so feeding wouldn't be a good idea.

Friday:  So second shot day, took about 10 minutes this time....onward.

Sue and I both got haircuts today, we cut my hair in a ponytail to donate for wigs for cancer patients.  Turns out some of the groups will accept hair even with some gray in it.  Eddie did a great job and left me enough hair to have fun with for the next few weeks.  Sue is still trying to get used to my changed look.  It has been many years since I have had short hair.

After haircuts we went on the search for our chicken noodle soup--first store had one, next none and the third had seven.  So we have enough for a while and now know where to find it in the future--thank you Whole Foods.  Next we picked up our friend Jan from Canada.  She is in town with her sister and brother in law to go to a 90th birthday party.  She stayed with us Friday night and will come back on Sunday with her sister for the night.  We had a good visit Friday afternoon and Mary and Colleen came over for dinner.  We all had a good time, good conversations and stories and a few laughs every now and again.  Note to self:  stop missing naps.

Saturday:  Shot 3--5 minutes.  This one hurt but not so much that I will stop.

Off to the mall with Jan, Nancy walked around a lap while Sue and Jan ate lunch.  Nancy ate earlier.  Then we all walked around and shopped for MN shirts for Jan.  Nancy is in the market for new hats so we found a few of those as well.  Jan also bought one to me from Kansas City--Kitty Hat with two ears, very cute.  Dropped her off for her party, drove home and took in that nap.

My new theme song.."will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm 64...."  (I am 61) And lucky for me, Sue says Yes!

Jan Unander, Nancy (in case you didn't recognize her) and Sue

Lisbon and At Sea, Tuesday and Wednesday

Tuesday—Today the second part of the trip begins with an evening departure from Lisbon.  Our friends Rick and Nita should be on board and on their way down the coast of Africa.  We would have enjoyed the at sea day as the first part of the trip was non stop shore excursions and sight seeing.

Another beautiful day so Sue and I did some errands and went down the hill for an early lunch at our local restaurant-Polar Cafe.  Nancy has been enjoying their blueberry oatcakes left over with added blueberries.  Seems like a good way to start the day. 

We put the 350 Z away for the winter, parked in the garage, covered and attached to the trickle charger.  Of course I had to make my yearly call to Jeff to find out how to make the connection.  Thanks Jeff.

I spent the afternoon at a genetics counselor, two people in one family with pancreatic cancer throws up some questions.  If any of my genes show inherited mutations then my brother, niece and nephew might want to consider testing.  It might help them figure out methods of early screening and/or preventative actions.  I should get the results in 4 weeks. And I, Sue, think that even now in this time of great stress Nanc is pretty special to be thinking of her family.

Present moment aside—Jessie, the cat, slept all morning while we were out, now she is up and determined to be between Nancy and the computer screen or trying to climb on her shoulder, or trying to type.  She makes us smile but she can be a pest.  A lovable pest.  And she can barely keep her eyes open sitting here….

Caught up on some taped tv shows last night, tried to remain calm, took a bath and watched NCIS—a Tuesday mainstay.

Wednesday—Big chemo day number one.  I went in a nervous wreck. All anticipatory but I couldn’t shake it.  Blood draw, saline, anti nausea med, shot, first chemo drug, second chemo drug—that one was uncomfortable going in, more saline.  9-12.  IV came out and my stress melted, I really was wound tight.  We have received lots of emails, texts and calls from family and friends all over the country.  We can’t thank you and every one enough for good wishes, pictures, jokes, and thoughts.  Home for lunch, Sue is off the grocery store and I went down to the treadmill for twenty slow minutes before deciding it was enough.  Will try again later.  Came home with more books on chemo and chemo eating ideas.  And of course my kit for shots—I think I can, I think I can, I think I can….

Sue just called, we can not figure out where we bought a certain kind of chicken noodle soup, she is on the hunt, two stores down, one to go.  I seem to do better with an afternoon nap, so I am headed upstairs to do just that.  

Probably will not post again till next week.  Jan from Mayne Island and her sister Jeannie from KC are coming up to a 90th birthday party but will come see us for the rest of the weekend.  I get no new cancer marker numbers for a month though Dr Dan said they may go up the first month as dead cells are pumped into the system and still register. He puts more stock in the second month numbers. Blood tests weekly to see if I can tolerate another round of chemo that week and to monitor both the standard chemo and the trial treatment.  Hair cut Friday, a fun short cut for two weeks or so.

Oh by the way Nancy has a uniform for Chemo and Doc visits. Lynx shirt and hat because they are Champions and so is she says Sue. And on Chemo day socks that came from Jill....Well, this sucks. The nurses  loved them.

Tangier, Seville, Lisbon

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday

Long around last Friday or Saturday I told myself that I belonged here today, tomorrow and the day after.  Re-upping that every day seemed like a good idea.  Then the next morning as I repeated this to myself  my mind jumped to a much better idea--I belong here this year, next year and the year after.

Fun weekend with Scott here.  Saturday late morning we were off to Deb and Jim's to deliver a chop saw and see their grandkids in their halloween costumes, Frozen, a dragon and a spider.  The score of the morning was bunny ears for Nancy.  Scott decided to borrow them as we went for a walk around a nearby lake.  One woman told him to watch out for the dogs who might start chasing him, almost everyone smiled at him.  Bought a new recumbent bike to have in the family room so that I can ride for a few minutes when that is all I can handle.  I have a treadmill downstairs but close and convenient seemed to offer an good alternative option.

Scott and I got into some family  history boxes--pictures, birth certificates, high school diplomas,wedding albums from my parents and, fun notes to and from our father as a baby and young boy. I have another drawer full to go through the next he is in town.  I sent a few things to my cousin Wendy so she could put them on Ancestry.com.  That seems like a good place to keep these treasures.  Wendy has also been my greatest cheer leader.  She is in her own cancer journey and has sent me lots of interesting books and resources.

Sunday we attacked the leaves around the pool.  All the of  us had our tools, Sue the big broom, Scott the blower and Nancy the pool rake to pull the leaves off the pool cover.  We made pretty quick work of that project and Scott and Nancy tightened all the lines on the pool cover  to make it tighter for the winter.  Another walk followed, this one around home so it came with hills--We had a good pace going so got  a good workout.  Got home to find Kim (Sue's cousin) and Lin (her partner) here with homemade beef barley soup and some bread and desserts.  Hmmm good.  Nice visit with a few laughs.

The rest of the day was devoted to football--Seahawks who won and the Packers who unfortunately lost.  We all gave up on the Packer game and Scott and I watched the World Series for a while.  Went to sleep with the Mets winning and woke up with the Kansas City Royals the champs.  Some of you saw our mouse adventure on Facebook.  There was a dead mouse downstairs but Nancy couldn't find it--it ran off with a trap.  Scott went on the hunt and was successful so he and Nancy went down to retrieve it armed with paper towels and an ice chopper.  Found two and the trap so all is good.  Unfortunately it is the time of year for them to come inside looking for a warm cozy home to live in.

We spent a lot of the weekend thinking about the clinical trial and weighing quality of life issues with possibly more side effects.  Scott and I routed through more material this morning and I am more at peace with it as a possibility.  I will decide this afternoon at the docs.  I sent a list of questions to discuss at my appt this morning. His office called to see if I could come in later when he could spend more time with us.  Somewhere in the mid morning my stress level went up as the impending decision and reality of the next stage of the journey is now closer to beginning.   Calmed down enough to have good conversations with the doc and go through the list of questions.  In the end I will be doing the clinical trial.  It is a double blind study, everyone gets standard treatment and some get an extra drug, others placebo.  No particular downside except giving myself shots everyday.  The doc kept telling me that the anticipation is worse then the reality.  Here's hoping.  He continued to say that I look good and have relatively no symptoms so that is a good starting place for Wednesday when chemo and the trial start.  I am good with the decision and feeling positive about what is to come.