Friday, November 11, 2016

Last Dance and Start of a New Journey

It has been one incredible journey but today, 11-11-16 at 8:26, the time came to end this one and start a new journey. Nancy saw most places on earth so now is the time to look among the stars. This journey requires Nancy to leave me in body but she will stay with me in my heart and soul forever. But lets not get too far ahead.....
The last few weeks as Earl continued to rage Nancy  refused to let him win the battle of attitude.
Mary and Susan
Dancing Pants from M&S
Cousin Jan
The house was full of love and affection.  Calls and visits from family & friends. Mary and Susan, Kim, Kim & Lin. Saturday past and doorbell rang. Surprise, Cousin Jan from Chicago to spend the day. Even as Nancy grew weaker she remained the Captain on this journey with Sue a willing first mate.  Each day she climbed up stairs to go to bed and  down in the morning. Our new couch was comfortable and dammed if she wasn't going to get to fully use it. She fought each day to eat a little something. Main stays were graham crackers and milk or jello but she did her best to try something when I cooked it.  Election coming up so we went to early vote.
Kim
Voted

Last Friday when she walked upstairs it was clear no more trips would be in order. And no more food. But no hospital bed for her. She and Jessie took to our bed where she would spend the final week in comfort with her cat. Jessie stayed by her side day and night. And she still managed to get in a few orders and quips. One morning as I was telling her she had meds to take she looked at me and said call 911. I immediately was worried and said whats wrong. She said she needed to summon the police because she had a drug pusher in her house. That I was but she did not suffer from pain.
Hospice visits made sure we had everything we needed both on a physical and mental basis. A nurse and a counselor visited regularly. And of course what was she worried about-me!  That is the captain for you.
Nancy took great comfort in healing touch. Rev Joanie, you are Saint Reverend Joanie. Thank you.

Tuesday morning when she woke up she asked who won the election. Told her it was too early as people were just now voting. Never did tell her the results as she would have been crushed. I am!!!!

Speaking of Saints, here comes brother Scott. The last week was a hard week for all of us. Scotts help and support allowed us to stay home and pass the way she wanted. Even more important Nancy loved him so much and to have him near her was comforting.  Forever grateful.

Nancy made the choice to donate her remains to the University of Minnesota for research. Once again she was dedicated to education. Go gophers. And she fulfilled one last promise to me today. They started digging up and removing the pool. She promised she would take care of it and she did.
The U carefully took her away and now the house echoes with an emptiness. My heart will heal because I promised her I would make sure it did and knowing how much you all cared for her is like medicine to me.

One of our friends Marc shared this with me today and it is perfect. Nancy and I promised to connect each time we looked at the stars. I share it with you.

There are stars up above, so far away we only see their light long, long after the star itself is gone.  And so it is with people that we loved - their memories keep shining ever brightly though their time with us is done.  But the stars that light up the darkest night, these are the lights that guide us.  As we live our days, these are the ways we remember.   
 

Travel safe Ms Nancy. I love you.

Mayne Island, BC, 2016







This is the obituary that will be in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune.





Dr. Nancy Shaw Desmond,  Professor Emerita, Hamline University  passed away at home 11-11-16 at the age 62 of after a courageous fight with pancreatic cancer. Proceeded in death by her mother Ann, father Richard and sister Kerrin.  She is survived by her wife Sue Albrecht, brother Scott (Debbie Spurling)  nephew and niece Scott Wertz (Leslie) and Jamie Wildermuth (Tim), Casey (Jessica) , Drew and Will Desmond, great nephews Brien and Jason, god daughter Lauren and all the Aunts, cousins, Albrechts and great friends far and wide.  And her cat Jessie. Nancy was born and raised in New Jersey, graduated  from the University of Oregon and spent a few years working at a Quaker Camp in Vermont. Nancy’s love for children led her to seek out a career in teaching . She came to Minnesota enrolling in the University of Minnesota and became a true Minnesotan earning several degrees from the University of Minnesota and Mankato. Nancy loved to travel the world, photography, the theater,  Lynx games, and volunteering. She could fix just about everything from computers to machines to people problems. She was kind and generous and had the gentlest of souls; she will be missed. Her wish was that no memorial be held. Memorials can be made to the Minnesota Jewish Theater Company PO Box16155,  St Paul, MN 55116.