The big 60! Not quite 45 but still on the way.

So I learned something new today.  I asked about the liver tumors that my latest CT said are stable or slightly shrinking in size.  I asked if they were stubborn and learned that the cancer cells can be killed but it takes a long time for the cells to be removed from the body and some may stay and some scarring may stay.  My pancreas tumor shrank from 3.2 x 2.2 to 2.0 x  1.3.  Sounds good to me.  The important thing is the CEA and its continued trend down to 60.  So still looking for 45 and then 3.  This is treatment 9 of a possible 12.  As long as there are no new cumulative side effects or a plateau I am hoping to do all 12.  Then we rest and watch and go to Japan.  Not sure what comes after that besides CT tests every two months and maybe blood tests every two weeks.  Those are questions for the next visit. Thanks Jill for my "45" shirt.  I was so excited once I figured out what it meant!

A story.  So in 2005 I went to Nambia with a group of educators.  Along the way we found choc-kits
cookies. They were so good.  I kept a box top in my desk drawer to remind me of what they were called.  Every time we went to Africa I looked for them, no luck in the countries we visited.  Every so often I would check online to see if I could order them from somewhere.  No luck until a few weeks ago and I am now the proud owner of 6.5 boxes of choc-kits.  Oatmeal cookies with white chocolate filling.....1.5 boxes are gone and I am pleased that they taste as good as I remember even with my goofed up taste buds.  I think I will save the last box for when I have my taste buds back and see if they are even better.

My hair is growing, not a lot, but enough.  No color yet.

I did another puzzle, with some help from Mary and Co after they helped us take off the pool cover.
Somehow we moved from calling contractors to fill it in to opening it.  We decided we will be here more this summer and swimming would be good exercise for us both.  The water was clear when we opened it--after two years, with much sediment on the bottom. Some algae is building upon now but that will go away with a dose of chlorine. Valley pool came out to officially open it and get everything running yesterday and tomorrow we hopefully have someone vacuuming the stuff off the bottom, though it is supposed to be cold.

I had a much better recovery this time than last.  I was tired and lethargic much of the previous two weeks.  I decided to eat mac and cheese for breakfast for a week and I have to assume that helped--a bit of protein to start the day. And hot chocolate, some all important carbs.  I have a new side effect.  Dr Dan calls them zingers.  I called them puffs of air but they surge through my feet and are gone.  I notice them a lot when driving or sitting in theater chairs.  They are odd and feel funny but that is about it on them.  Dr Dan continues to be amazed at how I am handling chemo that should be much more difficult.   I continue to be grateful and appreciative and do not take any of it for granted.  I attribute much of it to your thoughts prayers and good wishes.

Two week update.  We are in the midst of the bathroom remodel.  It is looking good and shower tile should be done today.  Then the fixtures, tub, vanity and sink, toilet, mirror and shelving got installed and Mark come s to paint.  Our favorite part of any project.  Scott Debbie and Emma (French cousin doing a year of high school in Seattle) come the weekend after next so they may have a rigged shower curtain but hopefully the rest will be done.

Movie review:  The Boss--don't go see it.

Theater review:  We saw the first half of "C" at Theater Latte Da, a musical Cyrano de Burgerac. Nancy was pretty tired at the 9:30 intermission and though we enjoyed the first half and the singing we gave into the tiredness and headed home.

Music Review:  One Voice Mixed Chorus is a local LGBTA choir that our friend Colleen sings in.  We go to most all of the shows, not out of obligation, but because they are a good choir and do different things with each show.  This time featured  Taiko drummers.  Traditional Japanese drumming for ceremonies and celebrations. Three strong, musical, and graceful women captivated the audience.  The concert featured new songs and some world premieres.  It is fun when the songs really showcase the range and musical abilities of the choir members.

3-D multi media

Tibetan prayer flags from movie

Art Review:  Colleen was our docent for the Discovering American Art Now exhibit at the MIA.  An eclectic collection of contemporary American artists, many of them women and many using multi materials to create a targeted snapshot of their world.  We throughly enjoyed it and will go back to spend more time absorbing the sense of story each piece portrays.

Floor Flocking, Dirt

The textile center on University had two shows, one was an installation of flocking using dirt and other media to create lace like designs on the floor, tables and shelving.  It was fascinating.  The other was of baskets, traditional style, which were gorgeous and then free style with beads, curves, open shapes sometimes resembling shells.  This is was took me to the center in the first place and I was not disappointed.

Mary and Colleen's Rotary club has a roses fund raiser so we drove Colleen around one afternoon while she delivered roses.  We came home with a gift of a dozen for us and then took a dozen to Gerrie when we met her for lunch.  They have been beautiful in our kitchen.  After canceling my last lunch date with Tamara Root from Hamline days.  Sue joined us and we had a good meal at Colassal in St Anthony Park.  It was fun to talk about art, travel and just catch up.

Big news for Sue's family.  Her cousin Nancy who lives in Madison is moving to Hudson to be closer to family, her son Darin, cousin Kim and Lin and us.  We are all thrilled that she will be close by and that we will be able to visit more often and more easily.  She found, much to her surprise, an independent living to assisted living facility that "felt like home."  They had a an opening and she is moving June 1.  We will all be busy in May.  We will go down for a few days to help sort and pack some things.  While she was up here for the weekend we enjoyed a family dinner at Darin's and a good time was had by all.

We attended two sessions of a healing touch series.  The first actually was talking about surviving cancer and using healing touch and guided imagery as tools.  The second was techniques of healing touch.  It was interesting and inspired both of us to want to learn more about the power of positive thinking and use of energy in healing.  We had hoped to go next week to learn about healing touch with animals but have other plans.

71.6 on the way to 45

Still holding 45 as a goal, but 71.6 is going in the right direction.  Dan keeps saying the trend in the direction is the important part, not necessarily the number.  I'm still headed for 45.  I really expected him to say 45 and I would have been totally blown away.  Sue thought it would be up because I had a harder time with being tired and lethargic for at least 10 days versus the usual week.  Guess those minions work even in the toughest conditions.  Sticking with the same dose this week and then if it is hard again he may cut the dose next time.  I told him that even as this time was different from others it is all manageable and for that I continue to be very grateful.

So we still did stuff, Sue keeps us rocking out as best she can:  Thursday with chemo in tow we went to see the Janis Joplin musical at the Ordway.  The actress was a cross between my cousin Marjorie and Janis Joplin, kind of a surreal combination.  Great show, music, story and tremendous blues backup singers as part of the story of Janis's inspiration.  Pump out on Friday April fools day and we enjoyed a dinner with Deb and Jim who were in town for the weekend.  Shared my cheesecake with Deb who said it was delicious.  I think my taste buds are goofed up--the cheesecake tasted like it should be delicious but I wasn't really sure and since then sugars have not tasted like anticipated.  I am in a bit of a crisis over this.

We are purging, had fun going through travel folders and throwing away old receipts and and most of the tickets for entry to museums and such while keeping and going through the itineraries and postcards and assorted books.  We will go through them again to enjoy our travels.  That took the whole weekend.  Monday, Sue got a massage and Nancy went to Tiffanys.  The diamond on Nancy's wedding ring fell out again.  They replaced it Jan and said to come back in June to have it serviced and checked/polished.  Didn't make it.  I told them to fill it in since it didn't seem to be working.  Not sure what I will get back.  Lucky for me I did not have to go to the dentist but Sue did that on Tuesday and I got to rest.  I have to wait for 6 weeks after chemo to be able to go to the dentist.  We finally got to see "Hello my name is Doris" with Sally Fields and Tyne Daly.  While the critics panned it, we thought it was quite good.  Sally played an eccentric older woman who falls in love with a 30+ colleague in her office.  It is clever and entertaining.

Loaves and Fishes with Rotary

We finally got to have lunch with our friend Gerrie and then that evening went to volunteer at Loaves and Fishes.  We do this with a local Rotary club to which we do not belong.  We join them for volunteer activities and really appreciate the opportunity to serve others.  Rotary does many good things for many people locally and around the world.  Sue said if she ever got her sleeping hours right  she might join--but breakfast meetings at 7 are not so easy when you stay up until 1 or 2am.  We are glad they include us, in spite of our non-membership.  The people we have met and worked with from there make the experience all the better.

The ACC show was in town.  (American Craft Council).  "Should we skip it this year, we don't need anything--but it is such a nice show"  One wooden sculpture of a bald headed smiling/laughing that reminds us of Nancy.  It even has the same little spot on it's forward.  And a few other small treasures.  So be it for needing nothing and not going.  After that we went across to the Science Museum to see the National Parks Omni Theater movie.  Not as good as it could have been but fun none the less.  No wonder I was tired.....

Another art show Saturday--earrings were the the big purchase and a scarf.  Tried to buy art from someone we like there but he has changed his colors and they just didn't grab us this year.    Went down to Eden Prairie shopping center to buy new  3 time World Champion Lynx shirts. Season starts in 30 days. Mary and Co came over for a nice ham dinner and several rounds of cribbage.  Nancy and Co were victorious. Lunch with Mary Margaret and Phyllis at Baker's square.  Phyllis was in the mood for cherry pie.  They brought me a great "spring" hat to add to the collection.  Sue said I was making a funny face, so I did and she took the picture anyway, but I love the hat.  Nancy got to rest on Monday on the massage table--felt good.  We went to see "Eye in the Sky" with Helen Mirren.  Good movie, suspenseful right from the start and straight through.  Thoughtful about modern warfare ethics in making military decisions.  Critics call it gripping, it was.

Lunch with Cathy Wick on Tuesday, we have not seen each other for a long time so it was great to catch up and pick up right where we left off.  She gave me a Rosie the Riveter puzzle (50) piece so quickly done and the sentiment is perfect.  And on top of all of this there is the guest bathroom remodel--boom, boom, boom.  They are hopefully taking out the cast iron tub today while we are not there.  Poor Jessie (the cat) is home alone with them and will be looking for a place to hide to escape the noise.  She will be glad to see us.

Jessie is one of my greatest supporters, following me into the bathroom, purring, sleeping on my legs by the hot water bottle, purring some more and walking on my head in the middle of the night, purring all the time. Her favorite though is nap time when she sleeps between my legs, after prerequisite purring.  She lets me know it is treat time when I come down in the morning and rolls over so I can give her a belly rub before she kneads my sneakers.  She has become more vocal and more connected and I love her dearly for it.  Lest anyone wonder if she really is a cat--she can also be a pest...

Not sure how to make sense of the tiredness I had given all that we ended up doing.  I think that instead of there being a few things, rest and a few more in a day, there were just the few and the rest.  I saw a lot of couch time.  I keep trying to positive and this week just saying 45 put a little smile on my face.  But it also is hard hoping that the treatment is working for the two weeks while waiting for verification down the road.  I fell behind on my exercising this past two weeks so that will be a goal going forward to keep that up.  70 degrees tomorrow will help.  Somedays for a little while I can forget that I have cancer, when my energy is up, I am eating something that tastes good-like mac and cheese-or we are doing something distracting.  Then something stops me in my tracks, tears for no reason, jumping in the shower and my head is still bald so there is no hair to wash, urgent need for a nap....and then I just say to Sue, "I really don't want to have cancer any more."  Not exactly an option so we acknowledge that idea and figure out how to go on with the day.  I am fortunate that I am not in pain, that the 5 pounds I loose the week after chemo, I gain back the next week, that mac and cheese and hot chocolate still taste good, that I continue to tolerate the chemo and that it keeps working.  I am asking my minions to love my cancer tumors to death--and to 45.

 This creation by me from a gift from Lisa and Jeff. It is called a zentangle.  My 45 is hidden in there.

Go 45!!!!!!!!!!